REJECTION

First: Focus on the feeling

In order to eliminate something, the first step is always awareness. You may think you’re aware of what rejection feels like, but pay close attention because if you’ve been pained by rejection as an actor, I guarantee you’re missing one VERY important piece of the rejection puzzle. Let’s take a deep dive into it and identify it. The feeling.

Second: Deconstructing rejection

The 5 “Traditional” Stages Of  Rejection:

Stage 1: You get the audition.

Stage 2: You start getting excited about the possibility of getting the role and you get attached to the idea of booking it.

Stage 3: You don’t get the role.

Stage 4: You fall into a ditch…A sort of “ditch of emotional despair”. (The punch in the stomach – the THUD we spoke of earlier). And, once you’re down in that deep, dark ditch, it’s hard to get out of it.  Eventually, you kind of crawl your way out (hopefully).  But it is really hard and it feels awful.

Stage 5: This paradigm of rejection becomes even worse because then you have the dread of falling in the ditch again the next time you audition. 

Third: The rejection mistake you don’t know you’re making

You’ve coupled experiencing the EXCITEMENT about the idea of booking the role with the ATTACHMENT to that very idea. 

Fourth: Excitement minus attachment equals freedom

Stage 1: You get the audition.

Stage 2: You start getting excited about the possibility of getting the role. You imagine what it feels like to have booked it. You picture yourself shooting it. You hear the director yell action and you begin to play the scene. You revel in the infinite possibilities of what your acting career could look and feel like when you book this role.

Stage 3: You don’t get the role

Stage 4: Since attachment to the outcome wasn’t a part of your paradigm, there is no ditch to fall into.

Stage 5: There is no Stage 5.  It doesn’t exist. 

Fifth: Rewind. Redo. Rewrite.

If you rewind and rewrite the way you “do” rejection by going back to that excitement feeling but never creating attachment to it, if you don’t get the role it’s not even a blip on your radar. 

Sixth: Rejoice despite rejection

You can still experience the excitement. You can still experience the imagination of the possibilities of what could happen — and you should. 

Photograph by Marnee Pearce.

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